A Calendar lays unopened in my recycling bin, reminding me why I even bother taking these damn things. The days fly faster than my memory can remind me to look, and the months are counted by the leaves on the tree. The tourists playing in the yards. Usually gifts from some bank promising me that I am somebody to them. No, not a somebody that they will help mind you, just somebody good enough to get this book of dates. Not that I expect much from my corporate banking institution, they take what they take, leaving those with little money fighting to keep their bank accounts alive. Fucking service fees. The holidays are over and my nights are silent again, while a chill creeps through the cold forest that surrounds me. Jack Frost always seemed like some creepy guy with a foot fetish. Tonight the drink is cold with a warm bourbon to match. The music tonight is songs from the late David Bowie, someone I have been listening to since I was a child. As with all of us whose life is fast, and candle burning even faster, we must remember to find our place in history. Whatever the story, we all must get heard.
Death is something for us all, no matter how bright you star shines. The gift of life comes with many perils, death is only an escape until we wake again. Energy never dies and I am one to believe that we never really fade away. I still ask myself at my age, if I have been here before. How many wash and repeats must we live before our lives are truly clean?
Is it all for the show?
Are we truly alone on this floating ball, seeking intelligence in drunken eyes. Gleams of red and blue , the presence of force upon our lives. Big brother will always be with us, he sits now above the pews looking for faces in the crowds.
I have no taste for government or death, both leave me with nothing in the end. For right now this is a year of new beginnings, or as these last 11 days have shown me, many crazy things afoot.
So far this year my ex has had a change of heart, she asks me to wait for her until he new relationship doesn't work. I thought it a parting gift to tell her politely to go fuck herself. She laughed and called me a ass, it is amazing what selective or high hopes will here. My brother comes out to me a couple days ago, tells me he has been hiding this secret for awhile.
I admit I laughed. I mocked him, I tried to to talk sense into him, anything to change his mind. I will accept any persons wishes but I can't sit by and watch my brother become a flat earther...
Why a flat earther, I would have accepted hollow earth, and even planet x. Shit I would have even accepted him if he told me he was a Brownie, at least we would have a love of cartoons in common.
I share enough of my life on here so I won't go any further into this theory. I already said enough, I am sure to awake to pictures of fabricated earth and rants on how nasa is covering all this up for money. (You would think they could make more money on ways to break out of this dome) Yea like I get comments on here...
As I go to grab another beer this calendar keeps haunting me. Was the pictures good last year, did I write any phone numbers on its pages? I may never know, I tend not to worry about past years, as it will only be going to the great shredder. To be turned into something new, like maybe one of those coffee sleeves. Maybe even a cup. I hope not a cup, that would be some nasty tasting recycled paper.
As the night dwindles on I wonder about these days ahead. Is life worth the living? $ Are we focused on the fall or are we to concerned about the pleasures right now. Even those costs are getting too high to maintain. From cavalier wishes to billion dollar condos, a clothing line, a few gold records and a episode on cribs. Not that I watch cribs, is it even on air? I have even smaller tastes in hollywood. Plastic never sat so well with me, I am more a wooden spoon kind of man. If i had a wooden spoon. Why would I even want a wooden spoon, metal doesn't leave splinters.
To you David Bowie, may you shine bright in history. You were a rock star living a rock stars life. May your energy go back into the fold. Back within the earth, to be used again. As we all will one day. Sometimes in disbelief, one walks on a gentle slope to madness.