Monday, March 2, 2020

Realm Of Improbability

Fascism holds no bounds in this realm I am living in. With hate as strong as the feelings i get, I'm not sure of my identity let alone purpose.

 Tonight as the woman I love screams at me for things as little as a grain of sand on a endless beach, I saw the same woman I also saw at the airport crying screaming why on the phone to my only guess a lover that invited her to come. As I was walking in my empty headspace she passed me dragging a broken suitcase with tears in her eyes.

 What is the chance of finding the same one in a island so large as Japan, with so many people? What is the chance that this same woman would be in such turmoil as I am tonight?  Things that make you wonder if life is even real. This is long past make believe and into a quantum realm of unknown possibilities.

 What is life? What is this that I put forth everyday in this flux of anomalies and coincidences. This fabric that I feel hangs so loose that as with fading wallpaper, so easy to RIP once given the chance. What is my purpose in this mask of illusion? This game of mind and unknown matter. Are my emotions just a series of entertaining stories for something bigger, a show that wants my pain to be shown as pleasure on a screen that I cannot see.

I am unable to say nothing anymore as my internet has been shut off to control me. To hold more as a prisoner than I already am. Stuck in her world, with nowhere to roam, no voices to console, no friends to reach out to. With this I say goodbye, may the sun shine on all of us. If there is even an us to begin with. I have never felt so alone in a pixilated vision of my futures rot. Not knowing if I am the dreamer or just the dream. I watched the dragons open the door to this new future to find it still holds me in a shallow cell.