Sunday, September 1, 2013

It Would Be Better Named `Who am I` on this Sunday Eve...



 Finally we have the broken standing as low paid servants take to the street, demanding better wages. Something we know is right but the truth hurts more since it comes from billionaires pockets... 
It`s all just banter...

For those who read this later, then I must thank you for staying, most of what is said is drunken ramblings. I guess my night is more then background noises and spoiling. Tonight I sit with a bottle of wine with no glass needed. Usually I don't drink but tonight I have a need for something more then herb. A few more sullen words.
Tonight I mix truth with division just like the world. Promising nothing but gibberish.
And tangled words lost within open hearts.

I must admit I do not like wine. 
It is one of those things that once tasted my past lives scream for something more. 
Like my old demons screaming for attention. 

I use to drink, well I started at 9 but that story is better left for 1983 social services lol. 
Like that was a thing... 
I now drink when the party is right or sitting here this night. 
It is the last of a long weekend and the wife is already tucked away, crashed hard until tomorrows hangover. I despise hangovers but I see myself having one, I know it won't make me feel any better but I must get rid of the temptation tonight. 
What I can't drink I will dump. 
I am sure no one here will ever know...

My brothers suffer from alcohol. 
One has become lost in wet brain wonderland believing he is becoming Bono, the other is killing himself slowly to take away the pain of life, but forgetting to change the view. 
My father is a drunk, as was my late grandfather. 
A vicious cycle I have learned to live without. 
I have no children so I have no lives to fuck up but my own, so sitting here tonight isn't quite so wrong. 
I do sound guilty thou, like I am giving an excuse, or am I just being paranoid, well if I don't even know. 
Who am I well who are you? 
I am in a better word a court jester playing a clown. 
Well Not dressed in part but sometimes I feel like the show is a little childish, and the actors are less then par. 
Tonight I am digging in my mind the same thought process that runs through it everyday. 
You poor dears...

 I hope you don't mind me hanging out for a bit, the mind is really quiet while drinking alone. I have never understood how can one drink alone, I usually end at the first drink. I usually associate drinking to having fun and me myself and I are just youtube videos and singing silently to not wake the house. 
Let us start with this...



Let us start with this... 
The song is as loud as it can reach as headphones disguise the joy the resides within.
So who am I, I ask this everyday. 
Like clocks clicking 1:11 I am part of a cycle or recycle. 
Older souls with a lot of meaning giving it away to the birds and the bums on the street. 
Just don't get offended by the word, I was once one myself. 
Well never a bum but sometimes an ass. 

pppapapaper girl....

Here, where is my camera, maybe you can get a better view. 
I sit with the news on expecting world war 3 all over again and it keeps telling me my stock forecasts for tomorrow. My index is my middle finger so sit on that. 

Why give them more then they need? i guess it's better then them just getting it handed to them in the form of public funds and stock notes of borrowed gold in Federal reserves, empty cages better left to help stray dogs. 

I have been of empty heart in my writings, just seem to be reaching for sky. 
Ok that song is over, let me play another from the same band. I enjoy the sound of this group, like pop rockabilly 






Seems like the picture is as blurred as my eyes. You take my body as your christ... woohoohoo 
I do love this song that is why I Must play it again. Like everything knocking at heavens door. Imagine if you already knew the outcome of your day, how boring that day would be... 
My Guns and Ammunition...

I guess I am like my eyes the window to my soul. Blue and deep as oceans and full of crap by man. You speak of fiction and I see right through that tune. Raising you a hand of three and a whistle for that rune.
My bottle is half way through, just a slim one givin to me by my neighbors. I have had a supple garden and have been making sure they have as much as I. It was a beautiful summer. 

It was this small in the beginning, both the wife and I wondered if we would ever get a crop...

a crop a cop, arresting me for nothing again. Just to prove their might. Nothing on me but a few dirty fingers, it was always the crowd, I did surf with the best. Pieces were stolen from me, dare I say given away. 
Calling all Comas...



Shock me awake Tear me apart Pinned like a note in a hospital gown Prison of sleep Deeper down The rabbit hole never to be found... again

You poor dears...
Again...

Well I never lie to myself anymore. Just like faded penmanship on bathroom walls, I keep telling myself the same old quotes. 

I was a pretty child which didn't keep the wolves at  bay.
The tore me up and harvested me to their will. beaten and sore. I still taste the last breath of life clinging on by the fact that I just can't die. Hunted in the night as predators sought to rip and tear. Fallen leaves realize the are no friend of autumn..... I have to break these walls. The taste of air I sought. If I could fly without the dream...

Tears of pleasure tears of pain, roll down your face all the same.
I have been through a lot in my life. I have tried to take my life more then you can imagine, always waking sore and miffed.
The land of the free and mortality.
You can't let go when life holds you hard against her venom's poison.
Scratching at the weakened mind to enter darkness, to give up and fall upon ones knees and scream enough god, man bro relax. Just chill lay off the roids man, you're losing it...
My god is the sun................................
Ok enough of the dark that isn't why we came here is it? I really have to thank all those that come here and read my very strange thought with seldom a miss in spelling mistakes. 
 Ok here is something happy





happy... yes I am amazing enough. I must make the best of this skin made of flesh with a green light harvesting my soul. Gave it all away.

Shock me awake Tear me apart Pinned like a note in a hospital gown Prison of sleep Deeper down The rabbit hole never to be found... again

Ok now the happy song...

Dancing on wire Both ends are on fire Cut me loose Nowhere to run, no more room to pretend Wandering along the road in a summer night  I go missing, No longer exist One day I hope I'm someone you'd met...

I am I am I am I.
Left on blood stained walls in old apartments with ghosts the size of walmarts.
Where are you hiding my love, exposed when I am out of control.
Just lines from the song that is lifting my already heavy soul.

Shock me awake Tear me apart Pinned like a note in a hospital gown Prison of sleep Deeper down The rabbit hole never to be found...
Dancing on wire Both ends are on fire Cut me loose ...



Dancing on wire Both ends are on fire Cut me loose 
Cut me loose...

Who am i...

I was once a minstrel, a slumber on the loose.
Awakening the souls like knocks on the doors.
Feeling like exposed lions in the throne.
Gave it away.

Died on a dream of the thorns.
Because I hit the ground..
Dancing on wire Both ends are on fire Cut me loose...
I sit smiling.
Shock me awake.
I sit smiling in this hospital gown.
The bottle is gone and there is no one around.
My poor dears, this writer is more lost then found.
I am lost without a frown.
It is not what I do.

I am a husk that became love.
A stumble in the forest floor.
Mindset on destruction forever more.
Not me but my father to be.
All exposed when I am out of control.
Dare I say Give it all away?
Or am I missing out.

My bottle is empty and this has been going on since 9:00 and it is 11:03
How simpler times use to be...
Ok one more time with this song then I will be back... 1107
Cut me loose... 
Calling all Comas,
Prisoner on the loose. 
Description: 
A spitting image of me Except for the heart-shaped hole where the hope runs out.

1111

I am still alive. god I bet you didn`t see that coming.
Just old reminders of fallen children right!
remember all childin need shoes...
All children need more then two choices to choose...
Again... 

I guess I have spent more time on highways then seldom roads. I always tended to sleep around. I was a child of lust what did you expect.
woohoohoo

I was a victim of trust that lost respect.
I gave the devil his prize.
i was blinded by the prize.
Found nothing but truth.
Didn`t see that coming did you...
I leave the ... since I am alone.
I have to pee,
(Well I do )
...

Things Better said while drunk
My whole world falls in...
We speak of revolutions but I see through that Que.
Seeking visions of our own freedom but forgetting about the rest.
Lost in fits of vengeance no better then the rest,
Lost on fabled knowledge while forgetting about the rest.
My whole world falls through...
When you find freedom has past your eyes.

To sleep or not to sleep that is the question.
Lets play another song...
Now what to play... 

Dearest god what would you like me to play...
Stretched out for the flock to see.
Poking holes in the illusion.
watching the body growing bold.
This tale is getting old...

I am 1147

papapapapergirl....
papapapgirl.....
papapagirl...

Of you...
Telling lies felt right around you...

I walked around, i may have spent my time but I was young. 
I was a sexual victim getting lost in the embrace of remorse.
I haven`t rationed well...

trust is given to all
It`s all in the same
fuck me over
and the last you will see of me
it`s not

1159


Papergirl





For the next act I give you the lemon of pink...



Who am I...

When you see me you will say I am love.
Trust me I have heard it many times before.
all`s well that ends well, well well...
We went through hell 
All's well that ends well 
Well, well, well, well Well, well
The Lemon Of Pink

What is god but a lonely soul looking for attention.

Just a fly on the wall

A fiend to us all
We went through hell
 all`s well that ends well

Dog...
Why did you have to leave...

I was once lost in fog of drugs
 a tale for the masses
Stumbling through life giving my all
for a fall
Well well

1212

23 skidoo...

23 skidoo

please go down...
Because I keep giving it all away.

I was a vagrant, a rat on the streets..
Looking for guidance on a redneck spiritual quest.
In A trailer park world.
Seeking already cut down trees
deeper behind the screen
back then it was only a play
just puppets behind wires
Before the wolves came
Dancing on wire Both ends are on fire Cut me loose...
I am stronger then I once was before
and that is saying alot
Just a migrant worker left on the field, seeking a handshake from a friendly smile.
A job well done.
What can I do...
...
..
.

With this I...
Still who am I
secrets left untold
I am I

I only saw a villain playing my role that is why I looked for the easiest escape.
All exposed when i am out of control
I seldom appear missing now
Further down the rabbit hole before I hit the ground
I seldom fall

I am a green heart
dancing on fire
cut me loose
Wondering around these roads on a summer night

Tear me apart
let my heart know it still has a reason to start
Set me on fire let me to blame
only smoke and mirrors when god comes to pay
only fear to shame
What can I do..

1236

Nor a mentat or fabled wire
cut me loose
Just an acrobat on the wire
watch me fall
Shock me away, tear me apart
this rabbit hole is too deep to be found
Left me away
strung in the mast
 singing choir to an unmarked mass
nobody else can heal me like you
What can you do





Bashful mother getting carried away
To tombs with no sorrow
to be placid all day



There is a quiet delay that you will never recover
demanding a reason for one second dear
you poor dear
drifting through headlight eyes
I told you so
fall sideways to lay
Like the curve of your waste all ceramic and smooth
I want to go home
I want to sleep
Rest forever more
not left for forever endings of forever more
You poor dear...

Empty as this glass learning, suspended on broken promises. 
Lifting words of courage bouncing off the TV screen. 
Passion left by the road side as people walk with hands needing to be felt. 
Along a Sunday stroll.  

Gifts of newborn insights are left crying in second hand strollers. 
Timetables matching the periodic elements mashing chemical romances. 
Bands playing old forgotten songs on drums left by their ancestors. 
Mimicking the sounds of today with the anger of tomorrow.  
Couples signing affidavits, defining their love by material possessions. 
Fighting over closet space and facebook pokes. 
Ex lovers and a bottle of wine left for comfort. 
We're only friends hangs on hung up phones. 
Such wisdom in the keys of a keyboard given with proper hands. 
Left for interpretation as the words that lay before you. 
All this again on my Sunday stroll.  

Walking home is always such sweet sorrow as reflective rays sparkle off contrail clouds. Leaving images of a nuclear tomorrows with only a fukushima throw away. 
News promising puppies while leaving out the meat within the meal. 
Reruns sporting nike kicks in faded cross training commercials. 
Fluff for breakfast lunch and dinner, a spoonful of GMO corn syrup to make the medicine go down. 
To make the ignorance go down... 
All on my Sunday stroll.

We went through hell 
God did we go through hell
boy did we go through hell
all on a Sunday prayer




Morning glory, the sun so holy, chants of glad tidings in feathered speak. 
Choirs of the masses, black crows in attendance at wailing walls sharpening their beaks. Prophets sitting, sifting in sandboxes seeking intellect in the smallest of grains. 
Looking for their heavens in chemtrails while broken warriors dance for the rain. 
False saviors sit in the back smoking cigarettes and sip on fermented grapes.  
Fighting for their rightful place in front of the pearly gates. 
Jesus selling salvation at the five and dime, with Mary along for the ride. Waiting for the next big show, till then they must abide. 
Children dressed in roman frocks, bundling thorns for the Sunday market. 
While mothers paint images of modest deities making themselves the target. 
Roads to hell and all gods children, a song of untold wealth. 
Buddha at the corner screaming, at least you got your health....



Someday's the mind does wander. 
Searching faded newspapers, seeking revelations of an unjust world. 
Finding only images of idols spitting on fans. 
The world backwards with these unknown marks on my hand. 
Lines still drawn in the sand.  

Within floating thoughts of constellations, fallen stars that grip the nation. 
Heavy is the world on the backs of the arm chaired few, losing freedom is not so new. 
Raised voices drunk from sour times, it's a shame these crimes don't fit the rhyme. 
Nothing but borrowed time. 

 It is dreams that we must foster, leaning on the backs of our family and not just the related few. Helping one to have more sets of hands to help another. 
United hearts in dedicated visions of futures that are brighter. 

Why do I even bother. 
Just words on a screen. 
Without the right product placement is will be seldom seldom seen. 
Let's keep the dream thou. 
Let us keep up the fight. 

We are the future that can at least try to turn everything right. 
In each of our hands in the power of change to change. 
United together we can share our common pains. 
Stand for your brother, stand beside another. 
Strength within Sisters in Arms. 
To harvest tomorrow with brighter days. 
To just give it all away. 


Boy it really has been another trying week in the world. 
We have as always more wars within the news. 
Locked in cycles of rinse and repeat as Presidents start to beat the drums of the elite. 
Nothing new within this Syria mess, the last stronghold  to topple with Americas forced Democracy. 
These people believe that it will set them free, just like you and me....



No comments: